Don't play football
We play Fenders
We chop fish in kitchen blenders
We're a disgrace to our gender
We're the men!

Always together night and day
It makes our girlfriends think we're gay
But who needs women when you've got friends?
We're the men!

The men will never let me down
The men will always be around
The men won't argue, scratch, or fight
The men won't say, "I've got a headache tonight"!

On Friday night we'll all jump in a car
And blow all our money at a go-go bar
Sober up for a week to do it over again because
We're the men!

We're twenty-one, but we act like we're ten
We're as immature as we've ever been
Maybe we'll grow up, but I don't know when because
We're the men!

We'll get together
Drink together
Sweat together
Stink together
Laugh together
Cry together
Live together
And die together!

We're the men . . .